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I'm just a lonely holiday fruitcake, looking for love in this crazy world.
Follow my quest at fruitcakediaries.com
To eat a fruitcake, or not. I guess if you’d rather not have the unadulterated pleasure of an all-American fruitcake, you could try one of the recipes below. But why mess with perfection. That’s right, I said it. PERFECTION. Oh, who am I (read full article)
Taffy needs to sing. “I’m listening, Taffy. Sing to me.” Is this a dream, or really really real? I Go Fruitcake from Taffy McKittrick on Vimeo. (read full article)
Many days have passed since I snuggled into hibernation in the kitchen cabinet. I dreamed of holidays and family, and everyone was so happy to see me in my dream. By the end of this dream, I was devoured by love and plastic forks, but it was worth it (read full article)
My shame is almost unbearable. f.r.u.i.t C.r.a.p [Cake] from Lauresa Hollenbeck on Vimeo. (read full article)
I’ve been hibernating in one of the kitchen cabinets for a few days now. The darkness feels good. But Valentines Day is quickly approaching and I may attempt to stoke their cold little hearts once more. This could be the holiday that does it. (read full article)
Once on Christmas eve, with one infected fruitcake the world fell apart. Found this writer. I love him. What I realized after reading Mr. Mecum is that repeatedly-regifted, ancient fruitcakes are disastrous. Everyone likes to make fun and constantly (read full article)
My mini fruitcakes and I spent all weekend practicing how they would entice everyone in the office. The plan was to seduce these good ASO folk one by one with the deliciousness of a mini-me. My little pretties don’t scare anyone. They’re (read full article)
Spontaneous procreation. It’s a beautiful thing, if you can stand the smell. The holidays are over and my manic depression has fully set in. I retreated to the darkness inside one of the kitchen cabinets. Like a grizzly, I just need to rest. Fo (read full article)
“Fruitcakes wouldn’t have become a holiday tradition if people didn’t like them.” Oh, Nicole Hedlund. You have put a smile on a grumpy old fruitcake’s face, if it can be said that we fruitcakes have faces. This Saturday (read full article)
What a devious little fruitcake you are, little fruitcake. When I first heard that the good people of Manitou Springs, Colorado would be hurling fruitcakes through the air this Saturday at their 15th Annual Fruitcake Toss, my fruits and nuts quivered (read full article)
I don’t know who locked me in. I don’t know if someone thought I was a doorstop, or a brick, or just another inanimate office object. Doesn’t matter. For two days, I withered away in the supply closet, breathing paint fumes, and got (read full article)
I’m trying anything to get some love in 2010, including resorting to fantasy. Here it goes. Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll. (read full article)
My spirits go up. My spirits go down. Everytime I convince myself to hold my little fruitcake head up high, I find some new insults thrown at me. I was convinced 2010 was going to be MY year. It’s only January 3rd, and I’m already in doub (read full article)
Fruitcake mysteries are like open secrets discover spices flowing through mem’ries. – Ancient cinquain January 1, 2010. A new year. A new decade. I am trying my damnedest to keep positive in this new year. The future feels good. I’ve (read full article)
Crazy thing about love is that it needs to be nurtured. If it stands alone, love will wane and die. I’ve been at this ad agency for over a month now, doing everything in my little fruitcake power to get noticed, and, more importantly, to get ea (read full article)
“With laughter, win them over, you will,” he says. Then he does another little robot dance. So strange. I guess it’s because I am, you know, a fruitcake, that I interpreted the strange little jedi’s words to mean photocopying (read full article)
The good people of ASO, bless their blissfully-ignorant souls, left remnants of a gift basket in the kitchen last night. They all ate the contents but left the snowman tin can in which those awful treats came. A really creepy snowman tin can. Really (read full article)
Fruitcake: The Anti-Cookie Oh, friends, when will the madness end? After visions of grandeur had passed yesterday, I was busily searching the internet for someone to help me spread the word of Fruitcake Love. This little lonely fruitcake only wants t (read full article)
It just doesn’t seem possible. A national holiday dedicated to me, and, still, no one wants to nibble my juicy fruits and delectable nuts. I didn’t make this up, either. It’s a real holiday. Really really real. Look at this: Nationa (read full article)
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