Recipes Gone Bad

Written Wednesday, October 7th, 2009 by Theresa H Hall

When things don't turn out the way you had hoped what then?  This is exactly what happened to me yesterday, when at 4:15PM I entered my kitchen to put together a recipe which I had been looking forward to baking. "Um," I thought "Apple Cake, yes!"

This recipe belongs to Catherine, who I featured about ten days ago. Her food looks scrumptious and on Saturday night I made an adaptation of her pasta dish with spinach and figs. I didn't have shrimp but I fried salmon instead. I threw in a few different colored bell peppers and a few red pepper flakes. Then I added in some steamed baby carrots drizzled with butter and dill weed. Ooh, it was so delicious. But I digress. I tend to do this when sharing tidbits of my life. It must be one of my personality traits.

Well here I was standing in my kitchen, expectant, because I had been going to make the cake last night, but got involved in working later than I had planned. I had printed out the recipe twice, because on one there was the juice from the lemon but it wasn't on the other recipe. I double-checked the recipe again, and then commenced to put the components together. There were three sections to this recipe and it was going to take me ten minutes prep time and 35 minutes bake time. By the time I had finished assembling it and putting two 8 X 8 pans into the oven I had twelve muffins and one bread loaf pan, too! How did this happen?  

There were seven apples to peel, core and slice. It took me ten minutes to unearth the apple-corer-peeler. Then I had to go slowly because this baby can deduct one of your fingers, if you do not pay close attention. Once going, however, I did manage to twirl the apples, using a bit of arm muscle, until they ended up and then I found another dilemma. Try as I would I had to twist the apple core in order to remove it from the long sharp prongs. Destroyed is more the description. By the time I tore up the core, only two came off the prongs of the peeler correctly. Now it was after 5PM.

There was another reason for this. I have the placement of my moon sign under the sign of Libra. At times, it has been my undoing because I see both sides and I have to weigh out what to do or make a decision between two items.

Catherine's recipe called for brown sugar. As it happens, I had light brown sugar and I had dark brown sugar. Decisions, decisions. The other night I watched Alton Brown's show, Good Eats, and he said the difference between the two brown sugars is the maple content. Dark has more. It was obvious Catherine had used light brown, so perhaps I should use dark. This thinking won me over so in went the dark brown sugar. Plus, my cinnamon was past the date suggested for freshness. Oh boy, here I had bought fresh ingredients, so I added more of the spice since it had lost some of its potency. Then I noticed, no matter how hard I searched, that I had no cloves. What to do? I did have ginger and coriander so I threw some of these into the mix. I even mentally patted myself on the back. Big mistake.

Combination of the ingredients came next and since I was measuring out the entire recipe in groups, I was using the 1/2 cup for the flour; 1/2 cup for the topping and 1 cup for the cake mixture. I had been using the 1/2 cup, yes, I said this already, but I do not recall if I used it two times for the cake mixture or only once. Looking back, I still am unsure. All of the other measurements were right, of this I am certain.

Now for all of you I will direct you to the recipe so you can see the light beautiful photograph of Apple Cake by Catherine and just how it is supposed to look. I must have had brain freeze because by the time I was ready to fill the two 8" cake pans I noticed there was twice the amount of batter. Oh no! I pulled out the muffin pan, the little paper cups and my stoneware for bread loafs. They were promptly filled, "I knew seven apples was way too much!"  I almost stomped my foot. The baking containers were placed into the hot oven on the wire racks. Timer(s) set (I always use two) I strolled out of the kitchen for a well-deserved ten-minute break. The time was 5:15 PM. "So much for ten minutes preparation time." I already knew my dark brown sugar choice was not a correct one, but in the past, I rescued many a recipe from disaster. I intended to keep the faith.

Twenty minutes later I was checking the muffins because their cooking time is much less than it is for the larger pans, however they were not ready. This oven needs to be calibrated again as it cooks hot. 350º was 340º in order to be as accurate as I could be. I began pulling apple cakes out of the oven and placing them onto the cooling racks. They did not look light, or delicate, nor did they appear fluffy. Oh Catherine was going to be disappointed in my attempt to make her recipe shine.

When I cut into the cakes they were a bit gummy, perhaps it was because of all the apples. They were wet and so I stuck one of the muffins into the microwave. Now they were gummy, hot and chewy. Right now I am trying not to cry, I am laughing so hard. My eyes close when I laugh this hard so it is hard to type.  Executive decision, I put the muffins back into the hot oven. These couldn't be finished yet. Oh, woe is me!" I wailed to myself.

Eventually all the pans were removed from the oven and placed on wire racks to cool. My middle sister had called earlier to see what I was doing and after I confided I had twice the amount I had planned to bake she said she would drop by on her way home to take some with her. She loves my cooking and I did warn her that she might not like this one. She cheerfully said she would see me in a little while and I just kept looking woefully at the results on a variation of a recipe.

By the time she arrived I had eaten two muffins, cut into one of the cakes and kept looking over the rectangular loaf cake. They were all very heavy and dense. This was the point where I started going over and over every step I had made, and I do know certainly I did put at least one ½ cup of flour into the cake mixture. The 1 cup measuring cup was clean, with no trace of flour. I learned in culinary school 'mise en place,' which means everything in its place. I sure was glad Chef didn’t see this mess I had made. Catherine, please forgive me. I promise to make it over until it comes out like yours.

My sister hugged me good-bye happy with her half loaf of Apple Cake tucked under her arm, assuring me that it wouldn’t last long. My sister had eaten a couple of bites and hadn’t keeled over. In the meantime, I have eaten half of the other half of the loaf. It is more like a bread pudding coffee cake. My husband is on his way home and intends to heat his portion up and then pour half-and-half on top of it.

Even if you have been cooking and baking for decades, things and recipes do sometimes go awry. Keep trying out recipes. More photos here.